Queen of the slugs

It's cloudy and rainy today. Perfect for what I had in mind for the day. Not much. After many busy weekends it was glorious to lay around, read, putter around the house and take a nap.

Today at the library I picked up Mirth of a Nation. It's a collection of humorous essays with titles like You'll Never Groom Dogs in This Town Again, The Yanni Files and Rejected Polls (which includes "I couldn't care less about the NHL"). Oh how I would like to be inside the writers' heads as they come up with these brilliant ideas. On second thought, maybe not.

The best entry is in the second edition, More Mirth of a Nation -- Andy Borowitz's Procrastinator's Checklist. A few:

• Call siblings long-distance and start unprovoked arguments
  
• Test yourself on state capitals just to stay sharp
• See how the NASDAQ is doing.

It's one of the funniest things I've ever read. I hoped to find it online. No such luck. In case you need a few ideas I did find another checklist. Not quite as funny as Borowitz's but "brushing the cat" does provoke a pleasant mental image.