29 August 2008

Funny smartman

Jon Stewart was on Larry King Live a few months back talking about the primary elections. He's tired of pundits saying:
"‘Is America ready for a woman or a Black president?' I can understand saying, 'Is America ready for a moron?'… Will people flee as if Godzilla is attacking the cities?"
It's about 1/2 through the video below.

He also said about superdelegates, "What are those? Delegates that got bit by a radioactive spider?"

And about that vacant Mitt Romney. "[Mitt Romney] Who by the way, is that guy a Pixar character? He looks like an alien pod had created him to be a president."

E-mail hell

I have a love-hate relationship with e-mail, particularly at work. These two have described it much better than I.
  • You should delete so much of your e-mail. The default state of your inbox should probably not be keep sitting here until I stop weeping. Merlin Mann, Inbox Zero Talk at Google (video)
  • E-mail is the biggest time suck in the modern workplace. Julie Morgenstern in Never Check E-mail in the Morning

26 August 2008

Have a pet, & you'll understand

From the essay, "The Sacred Cow," in Augusten Burroughs' Possible Side Effects. Bentley and The Cow are his French Bulldogs. Dennis is his partner.
Sometimes, I sit here and watch The Cow. I watch Bentley. Dennis is in the other room or he is at the store or in the yard. And I sit alone with my sleeping small animals and I think, I couldn't have kids because it would kill me. These two, they nearly kill me. More precious to me than anything. Children would be worse. Intolerable, that love would be. Already is. Nearly.
I know how the feels.

World's bossiest airline

"My Airline," a snarky, clever essay by David Owen, is in response to the bazillion, death-by-papercut fees airlines now charge. The story appeared in the Shouts & Murmurs column of The New Yorker, July 7 & 14, 2008 edition. Full story here. A teaser:

My Airline
Luggage surcharges are old news at my airline. I’ve had them for years: for second bags that don’t contain golf clubs, for cardboard boxes held together with twine or duct tape, for long, rolled-up things that you bring into the cabin, and for any carry-on item that I have to help you stow or retrieve, or that you jam into the overhead compartment sideways, so that it crushes my sports coat, which I have folded using the time-tested inside-out method, or whose size forces me to place my briefcase in a compartment other than one directly over my row. The charge is fifty dollars, exact change only. From now on, I will also be charging fifty dollars for any piece of luggage on which you have written your name and address in gigantic letters.

Previously, at check-in, I have visually estimated your weight. From now on, you may be required to step onto the luggage scale. You must also certify, before boarding, that no part of your arm or torso will extend over your armrest and touch me or cause my arm or side to get hot at any time during the flight. If the test calipers at the boarding gate cannot be passed freely over your entire body, you will be required to purchase an additional ticket and to sit in the exact center of your two seats. Furthermore, you must keep your feet stowed directly in front of you at all times in such a way that your legs do not touch my legs or penetrate any part of the imaginary vertical plane separating your seating space from mine. Fifty dollars. More.

25 August 2008

You've been warned

It's my last day of vacation [deep sigh]. I've been hanging around home doing house projects, reading, walking the dogs and generally doing whatever I feel like doing. It's been grand!

In honor of one more day of fun, this comic from XKCD (sounds like a fake name but it's not). I would so love this on a shirt.

24 August 2008

Trivial psychic

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic is a very amusing skit* from Saturday Night Live. It's Christopher Walken lampooning his future-seeing character in the creepy yet awesome "The Dead Zone." (This clip also includes the dearly departed Phil Hartman. He also does the voice over.)

*The video begins with an ad.

23 August 2008

Things that make me laugh

When I hear something clever or funny or insulting I often write it down. I'm kind of an obsessive note taker and I can look at it later if I'm having an irritating day. Some recent:
  • Oh war, it's just God's way of teaching Americans geography. The Daily Show
  • It's a two-dork operation. (I can't remember where I heard this.)
  • Glorious absence of sophistication. Definition of redneck by Jeff Foxworthy on the Late, Late Show
  • Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse? Mayor Quimby on the Simpsons
  • Everyone off, Loonyland City Centre. Vicar of Dibley
  • 5000 pounds? You could get a person killed for that! Vicar of Dibley
  • You self-important toss pot! The News Quiz (BBC)
  • [I would like that] as much as I like stubbing my toe in a fire. The News Quiz (BBC)
  • Don't give a toss. The News Quiz (BBC)
  • Wasted DNA that is [insert name]. The News Quiz (BBC)

12 August 2008

I'd love to see the looks on their faces

In my community's magazine there are listings for all sorts of events and activities. Skate with Santa, strength training, golf training indoors, etc. This event caught my eye.
This is your chance to not only touch, but hop right in the driver's seat of a fire engine, police car, snow plow or dump truck! Come on out to the Community Center and check out all of the city trucks.
The announcement also says "all ages." I would so like to see some adults show up. The looks on the faces of the fire fighters, cops, etc. would be priceless.

11 August 2008

Almost autumn, almost time for soup

A couple of years ago I was having dinner at the home of the Rigtenzins. We were about to eat something interesting that kids don't like. So the kids got hot dogs. As Rigtenzin poured the hot dog water off he suddenly stopped and said, "Oh! I should have saved that for soup!"

So disgusting. Yet so beautiful.

07 August 2008


Who's that sweet boy? Pele! He came to live with us about a month ago. He is the happiest dog I've ever met. His tail wags pretty much constantly.

Pele is a rescue. He was picked up by animal control and no one came to claim him. After five days, unclaimed dogs, and other animals, are euthanized. Rescued Pets Are Wonderful gets adoptable animals from animal control after the claiming period is up. They put them into foster homes and then try to find 'forever homes' for them (see Pele's pre-adoption photo below).

We think he's part Chihuahua and Jack Russell and about a year old. We are having some housebreaking and separation anxiety issues but it will all shake out. Sophie and Pele push each other's buttons, play fight and mad chase through the house. I don't that she'd admit it, but I think Sophie's glad, now, that he's here.

06 August 2008

No thank you

Bonus post! A Dumb Dare from earlier this week:
Hang a sign-up sheet in the lunchroom inviting colleagues to a “Cuddle Party.”
Using EclectChick's coined phrase, the above makes me "all flavors of horrified."

Bad taste? Yes or no?

Think about "The Lives of Others" and you'll really get the shivers. What's next? A death squad pub in San Salvador? From Reuters.

Beer - and the secret police

Aug 4 - An East German pub opens in Berlin, where drinkers can enjoy a beer surrounded by memorabilia of the communist secret police, the "Stasi".

One man from former East Germany and one from the West have opened the pub on the street where the Stasi headquarters were once situated.

04 August 2008

Hey, that's me!

I was at an art fair and saw this sign.

Overwhelmed and undermedicated

I think I'll make one. The version at the art fair wasn't very arty.