This video breaks the story that there will be a third candidate in the "War for the White House." According to one person interviewed, who plans to vote for Joad Cressbecker, "I'm voting for a man who I could imagine drowning a bag of cats." And according to a poll quoted in the report, voters say that McCain is not ornery enough.
From The Onion.
Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain