The late Mitch Hedberg was hilarious. Listening to him makes me laugh so hard I snort.
I love the bit below. It includes his take on catch and release fishing. He says it's for people who "don't want to eat the fish but do want to make it late for something." And, "I find that ducks' opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf."
Here's another. Includes, "I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool. It was 30 seconds long. You know why? Because that's the maximum amount of time you can depict yourself having fun in an above-ground pool."
Random: "If you are flammable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."
4 comments:
My Favorite:
I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don’t relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.
alternate favorite:
I had a bag of Fritos, but these were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summertime, when we used to fire up the barbecue and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. “Better flip that Frito”. Dad, you know how I like mine: with grill marks.”
alternate alternate:
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once, they’re fucking relentless.
After Mitch died, I read an article about him and have seen many references to him since. I've never seen him before you posted this though.
He is very funny. I hope I can find more on youtube.
His stuff is so very funny. Gonna send the catch and release statement to my catch and release hubby. He'll love that.
Tim -- thanks for the additional quotes! Rigtenzin and EclectChick -- he has a couple of DVDs on Netflix. One is waiting for me at home. Yay!
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