Tommy boy (not the funny one)

Text lifted, shamelessly, from The Onion.

Tom DeLay Resigns
"What does this man have to look forward to? Some multimillion-dollar consulting position at a mega-corporation? I hope he's on suicide watch." -- Amanda Marcotte, Systems Analyst

Tom DeLay To Pursue Corruption In Private Sector
STAFFORD, TX—Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who is facing several ethics violations and felony charges, announced Tuesday that he will resign from Congress in order to concentrate on corruption in the private sector. "I can say with a clear lack of conscience that, after 21 years of public disservice, I have done everything I could to the American people," DeLay said in a televised statement to constituents.