You've been warned

It's my last day of vacation [deep sigh]. I've been hanging around home doing house projects, reading, walking the dogs and generally doing whatever I feel like doing. It's been grand!

In honor of one more day of fun, this comic from XKCD (sounds like a fake name but it's not). I would so love this on a shirt.

Trivial psychic

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic is a very amusing skit* from Saturday Night Live. It's Christopher Walken lampooning his future-seeing character in the creepy yet awesome "The Dead Zone." (This clip also includes the dearly departed Phil Hartman. He also does the voice over.)



*The video begins with an ad.

Things that make me laugh

When I hear something clever or funny or insulting I often write it down. I'm kind of an obsessive note taker and I can look at it later if I'm having an irritating day. Some recent:

• Oh war, it's just God's way of teaching Americans geography. The Daily Show
• It's a two-dork operation. (I can't remember where I heard this.)
  
• Glorious absence of sophistication. Definition of redneck by Jeff Foxworthy on the Late, Late Show
  
• Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse? Mayor Quimby on the Simpsons
• Everyone off, Loonyland City Centre. Vicar of Dibley
• 5000 pounds? You could get a person killed for that! Vicar of Dibley
• You self-important toss pot! The News Quiz (BBC)
• [I would like that] as much as I like stubbing my toe in a fire. The News Quiz (BBC)
• Don't give a toss. The News Quiz (BBC)
• Wasted DNA that is [insert name]. The News Quiz (BBC)

Obama to name running mate

Barack Obama is due to announce his running mate today. It's me.

I'd love to see the looks on their faces

In my community's magazine there are listings for all sorts of events and activities. Skate with Santa, strength training, golf training indoors, etc. This event caught my eye.

Touch-A-Truck
This is your chance to not only touch, but hop right in the driver's seat of a fire engine, police car, snow plow or dump truck! Come on out to the Community Center and check out all of the city trucks.

The announcement also says "all ages." I would so like to see some adults show up. The looks on the faces of the fire fighters, cops, etc. would be priceless.

Almost autumn, almost time for soup

A couple of years ago I was having dinner at the home of the Rigtenzins. We were about to eat something interesting that kids don't like. So the kids got hot dogs. As Rigtenzin poured the hot dog water off he suddenly stopped and said, "Oh! I should have saved that for soup!"

So disgusting. Yet so beautiful.

Pele!

Who's that sweet boy? Pele! He came to live with us about a month ago. He is the happiest dog I've ever met. His tail wags pretty much constantly.

Pele is a rescue. He was picked up by animal control and no one came to claim him. After five days, unclaimed dogs, and other animals, are euthanized. Rescued Pets Are Wonderful gets adoptable animals from animal control after the claiming period is up. They put them into foster homes and then try to find 'forever homes' for them (see Pele's pre-adoption photo below).

We think he's part Chihuahua and Jack Russell and about a year old. We are having some housebreaking and separation anxiety issues but it will all shake out. Sophie and Pele push each other's buttons, play fight and mad chase through the house. I don't that she'd admit it, but I think Sophie's glad, now, that he's here.

No thank you

Bonus post! A Dumb Dare from earlier this week:

Hang a sign-up sheet in the lunchroom inviting colleagues to a “Cuddle Party.”

Using EclectChick's coined phrase, the above makes me "all flavors of horrified."

Bad taste? Yes or no?

Think about "The Lives of Others" and you'll really get the shivers. What's next? A death squad pub in San Salvador? From Reuters.

Beer - and the secret police

Aug 4 - An East German pub opens in Berlin, where drinkers can enjoy a beer surrounded by memorabilia of the communist secret police, the "Stasi".

One man from former East Germany and one from the West have opened the pub on the street where the Stasi headquarters were once situated.

Hey, that's me!

I was at an art fair and saw this sign.

Overwhelmed and undermedicated

I think I'll make one. The version at the art fair wasn't very arty.

Bush Tours America

Made me laugh. And cry. From The Onion.


Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Quote of the day

From the fabulous writer, Isaac Bashevis Singer* who was born today in 1904:

Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life.

Genau!

*Don't hold the movie, "Yentl" against him, please.

Shoes and plants

I found this while browsing through some photos. It's a little out of focus but I love it. I saw these shoes hanging on a building in Kandersteg, Switzerland.

Mitch Hedberg

The late Mitch Hedberg was hilarious. Listening to him makes me laugh so hard I snort.

I love the bit below. It includes his take on catch and release fishing. He says it's for people who "don't want to eat the fish but do want to make it late for something." And, "I find that ducks' opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf."



Here's another. Includes, "I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool. It was 30 seconds long. You know why? Because that's the maximum amount of time you can depict yourself having fun in an above-ground pool."

Random: "If you are flammable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."

Dumb Dare

I have a Dumb Dares for the Office flip-a-day calendar. It's a daily dose of lovely silliness. A couple of the the latest:

Circle a few personal ads in your local newspaper, indicating assorted preferences, and leave the page open on your desk all day.

Crawl around the outside of the building on all fours with a stick in your mouth.

On a completely unrelated note, "hell" is the German word for bright. (The English word "hell" is die Hoelle in German.)

A good book/a geek from way back

I'm re-reading The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendhal. (It's my pick for book club.) I read it first in high school after getting sucked into the mini series on Great Performances (PBS). In high school I was watching a lot of PBS. A geek to the core at an early age.

The main character in the book is Fabrizio del Dongo. (A fun name to say!) He's quite the naive guy who wants to go off and join Napoleon's army. Later he becomes a prelate in the Catholic church. Stendhal is quite clever and mouthy but you have to pay attention or you miss it.

From a review of the new translation in The New York Times (1999):

The quick pace of the narrative and the vividness of the characters are balanced throughout by a coolly sardonic assessment of human nature and, in particular, of politics. Stendhal ... found himself living at a time of almost unprecedented political cynicism in post-Restoration France; disgust with the bourgeois complacency of his countrymen played no little part in his admiration for the Italians, whom he considered to be more authentic -- more profound and more susceptible to violent emotions, as he wrote in his diary. More.

If you like this one, you'll surely like The Red and The Black, also by Stendhal (the red represents the military and the black represents the church).

Viva la Vida is fabelhaft (fabulous)!

I simply love Coldplay. They are masters of the big, energetic sound. A sound that makes you want to stretch your arms out and move. I love all the keyboards, too. (All those years of piano lessons left their imprint.)

The sound on their new CD, Viva la Vida, is a bit different than their last CD, X&Y. On this one you can hear more of Brian Eno's influence (he has produced several of U2's albums). Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love is a particularly lovely song. It starts with Coldplay's big sound and then segues to a very sweet, slower song.

The bands worldview shines through on several of the tracks, especially Violet Hill and Viva la Vida. A reviewer compared the sound on Violet Hill to Pink Floyd. I interpret Viva la Vida as a commentary on the fall of the American empire. The juxtaposition of a grand, energetic sound with the dark story is quite powerful. A bit of the lyrics:

When the future's architectured
By a carnival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low

and

Was a long and dark December
When the banks became cathedrals
And the fog
Became God

Viva la Vida:




The following is a video not produced by Coldplay. But with lines like those above, I don't think they'd quibble with it. Dancing, goofy-acting politicians inter cut with protests, soldiers with rocket launchers and torture.

Stupid git

In April, Congressional candidate Tony Zirkle (Indiana) agreed to speak at a gathering of the American National Socialist Workers' Party. His platform consists mainly of opposing pornography and prostitution. He's also in favor of bringing back the guillotine. The gathering was a birthday party for Adolf Hitler.

Zirkle claims that he didn't know that the group was pro-Nazi because they were called National Socialists, not Nazis. This despite the giant portrait of Hitler, everyone at the head table wearing swastikas and the Happy Birthday Hitler banner. The Indiana Republican party is distancing itself from Mr. Zirkle.

More.

Andre Jordan

Andre Jordan creates the best doodles. I love his stuff.

I'm posting these today not just because it's been a long week and my brain feels like mush. I also want to share a couple examples of his fabulousness. But I am tired and lazy, too.

I don't know why I think this is so funny but I do.
This needs no explanation.

Mental Floss is beautiful

I've talked about mental_floss here before. But as I just finished the latest edition (at right), I'm compelled to talk about it again. It's just packed with info and trivia that you wouldn't likely learn elsewhere without quite a bit of effort. Much of it you don't need for day-to-day life. But that's part of the fun.

If the magazine is a really good meal, then the Web site is the equivalent of a mile-long buffet. (A good one, not the Old Country Buffet.) For example, on the trivia page you will find the following treats:

• Daily Lunchtime Quiz (includes "Star Wars Reference or World War II Reference?")
• The Amazing Fact Generator (includes gems like "House flies younger than four days old don’t react to light and therefore won’t be attracted to your bug zapper.")
• What's the Difference (includes "Art Deco vs. Art Nouveau" -- always go with Art Nouveau if you ask me)
• Geography Challenge (with sound!)
  
• All the Great Lists (includes "7 of America's Quirkiest Food Festivals")
  
• Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets (a bit of background that will make you sound smart on a variety of topics including The Qur'an, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, Martini).
  
• 5 Questions (daily, five-question quizzes)