Dreary day brightened

It's snowing today. Argh. Spring teased us for a few days. Oh well, at least the new snow is covering up the dirty snow.

I found A Beautiful Revolution blog via a blog that linked to a blog that linked to another blog. The perfect site to offset the it's-still-winter blues. Warning. Some of the drawings aren't G rated.

I couldn't resist the coin purse

I went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts with the Rigtenzins on Sunday. There is currently a great Arts of Japan exhibit. The kimonos are gorgeous. I could stare at them for hours. The Design Concepts exhibit was very fun but entirely too small. I love that kind of stuff.

On the way out we stopped in the museum shop. I couldn't resist this coin purse. Boston Terriers ueber Alles!

Just plain cool

Advertising Age now runs a weekly video run down of the best work on Creativity-Online.com. It's a beautiful thing.

See this week's ads and a top 5 commentary. My personal favorite is this Thai ad.

Movie reviews

Three kiss-of-death phrases in movie advertisements.

1. A romp!
2. The feel-good hit of the [insert name of season here]
3. Phrases with ellipsis, e.g., "Taut thriller ... superior ..."; "Romantic farce ... giddy comic exuberance ... "
   

Russian Monday Morning

A couple of laughs from Russia.

This joke is going around Russia:
Vladimir Putin and Russia's new president, Dimitry Medvedev, are at a restaurant. The waitperson comes to the table and asks Putin what he would like. "A steak." The wait person says, "And the vegetable?" Putin says, "He'll have a steak, too."

And, caught on a cell phone video,
A tank stops at a liquor store to buy vodka. Then the tank crashes into a house. (This one is also sad.)

Trouble via MySpace

Cory Delaney, a 16-year-old Australian from Melbourne, posted info on his party on MySpace. 500 people showed up.

It took 30 police officers, a helicopter and a dog squad to break up the party. Full story.

Via the NewsQuiz on the BBC (available as a podcast!)

Quote of the day

Saw this on the Mutts Web site. So true, so true!

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

New words to Shaft

I heard the theme song to Shaft the other day on the The Current.

New lyrics came to me yesterday. I realize that this throws me into the realm of really crazy dog lady. Oh well.

Think of that opening instrumental bit in Shaft, then sing:
Who's the sweet girl with all the toys? Sophie!*

*You have to say "Sophie" really fast because "Shaft" is only one syllable.

Words that look funny to an English speaker

This photo was in Der Spiegel in a story about driving schools offering 'crash courses.' To a partial German speaker whose first language is English, this looks really funny. (Der Kurs means a course.) It looks like the driving school offers a class in how to crash.

Here's another. The word malerisch is a German adjective. It looks like malaria but means picturesque.

Social networking for everyone

I heard about a couple of satirical social networking sites the other day. Snubster and Enemybook. I love the idea of asking someone, "Are you on snubster?"

Had it been around in the early '70s, Enemybook would have been perfect for U.S. President Richard Nixon who, this is no joke, kept an enemies list (also here).

Amphibians

I just love Stephen Colbert. When I watch his show I'm guaranteed at least a handful of belly-busting laughs. (He describes his character on the show as a well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot).

His introduction of ecologist Mark Moffett, author of Face to Face with Frogs, included this line about amphibians:

I'm no fan of amphibians. I say, water or land. Pick a side. We're at war!

Not exactly a Hallmark card

In the fictional town, Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor describes the townspeople as nothing near romantic. Stereotypical descendants of northern European stoics. A line from one of his monologues on A Prairie Home Companion:

It's like Dorothy down at the Chatterbox Cafe said. 'If you're going to fall in love, you might as well save your time and set your house on fire. You get the same amount of drama and it causes less damage.'

If you're in Minnesota, caucus on Tuesday!

This music video gives me the shivers. In a good way.



Created by will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas and Jesse Dylan. Inspired by Barack Obama’s “Yes We Can” speech.

Find out where to caucus on Tuesday here. (You don't have to stay for the whole caucus. Just show up, vote and go home.)

I could picture him saying that

toothpastefordinner.com

Ooooh, a new-to-me singer!

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I heard this song, "Love Song," on a television commercial. It immediately set my toes tapping so I found out what it was. I hadn't heard Sara Bareilles. I love her voice!

Here she's on the Late Late Show. The official video is quite cute but embedding is disabled so follow the link.

Spanish confuses me

I received an e-mail from a colleague who speaks Spanish. It starts "Hola hermana." I read it quickly and thought, "Why is he calling me Herman?"

I think I have a mental block around Spanish. I had one semester of basic Spanish in college. At the same time I was taking upper-level German classes. I was so confused. In Spanish all the words seemed to run together ("was that a word, phrase or paragraph?") , you can't tell which words are nouns because they aren't capitalized, and on and on. It didn't help that I had a nut-job professor. He never taught us the alphabet or how to pronounce things. How was I supposed to know that a double "l" sounds like a "y"?

On the first day of class he asked us to take out our books. Huh? Who has their books on the first day? You make that mistake once, the professor changes the syllabus and you end up with books you don't need and can't return.

Every test and quiz overwhelmed me. I always wanted to ask if I'd get half credit for an answer other than English. My guess is the answer would have been no.

That doesn't work

When Sophie was a puppy I wanted to keep her off the furniture. With all that bouncing and craziness it was hard to do.

I read that putting aluminum foil on the couch would keeps dogs off because they hate how it feels. I tried it. She jumped up on the couch and immediately started chewing on the aluminum foil.

Quote machine

I love this quote from Craig Newmark, founder of the wildly popular Craigslist, the online classifieds site.

The only difference between a little hobby and what we have now is that we follow through.

Vladimir Putin scares me

Jeremy Hardy eloquently explained Putinphobia on the Jan. 18 Friday Night Comedy BBC News Quiz (available as a podcast).

"Putin manages to combine the worst elements of Tsarism and Stalinism in this one muscular, bald, weird ex-spy."

Funny word pictures

From David Rakoff's book, Don't Get Too Comfortable:

A smell of head-kicking intensity.

You must be a professional gift wrapper!

This was the first, and likely the last, gift I've received wrapped entirely in duct tape.

Ah, serenity

I received this rock garden for Christmas. I think it's so pretty and the water dripping is quite calming.

It's now on my desk at work. That is the place where I could really use the calming effect. (I like my job but the pace could sometimes be called frenzied.)

Sick 'n twisted

toothpastefordinner.com

Who's being coy?

Great story on NPR this morning about Michael Bloomberg, mayor of New York City. There is speculation that he'll run for president as an independent. He hasn't announced. Yet.

Robert Smith's story offers up Candidate Bingo, a game to discern who might be running for office but is keeping it under wraps. Read or listen to the story, or not. A link to the bingo card (a PDF) is half way down the page under "Presidential Candidate Bingo." Some of the tell-tale signs: eat junk food, kiss babies, visit State Fairs.

Toothpaste and pugs

I love the cartoon Toothpaste for Dinner.


toothpastefordinner.com

The artist also does videos! Here's "Roller Chester 2: Politics With Charles." So very strange and delightful!


"Pugs and Donuts" is also lovely!

Blogging from Iran

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, has a blog. He doesn't update very often (put it in Google Reader and you won't have to worry about checking back). Kind of mind bending. The comments are pretty interesting, too.

Not exactly an enticement

This header was on an e-mail I just received. These people look mean. I don't think I want to go where they are.

Sick and funny

"The East London Decapitator" has been stalking outdoor advertising, cutting off heads and leaving a bloody mess.

Via psfk.

Shudderlicious

Check out the creepy realtor photos. Makes you wonder about their judgment, no?

Thanks to the BrandFlakesForBreakfast for the spine chill.

President Bling Bling

President Nicolas Sarkozy of France has been dubbed le presidente bling-bling by the French media. I think this moniker is hilarious. So biting. His high-roller lifestyle and new girlfriend inspired the nickname.

Read more.

Word Wars -- tales of the obsessed

Word Wars is one interesting trip down obsessed lane. The film's subtitle: Tiles and Tribulations on the SCRABBLE Circuit.

The film highlights four top SCRABBLE players who regularly, and frequently, compete in tournaments. So much so that three of the four don't have jobs. They practice, practice, practice and compete. SCRABBLE is their life. For example, at tournaments after the competition is finished for the day, they play SCRABBLE.

One of the best moments in the documentary takes place at a tournament. It's at a large hotel. After a round several players take a SCRABBLE board out to the hall, sit on the floor and deconstruct the last round. Down the hall there is a bride, in full bridal gear, looking at them with a look of confusion and horror.

2007 recap

This is a perfectly sufficient wrap up of 2007. From Toothpaste for Dinner.

Were you awake during 2007? Good. Then neither of us missed it and I don't have to go through the details.

2007: It was okay.

Check out Toothpaste's daily comic.

A Sophie by any other name

Sophie goes by many names. Twelve in addition to her given name.

• Licker locker
  
• Lady Pees-a-lot
• Queen of the deep sigh
• Little Miss
• Little Nutter
• Sophala
• Sophaloo
• Pookaloo
• Cozy girl
• Sophie Ueberhund (super dog)
• Sweat pea
• Stinker
  

At right, Sophie sunbathing. Her favorite activity.

Obama takes Iowa!

I hope Barack Obama's win in the Iowa caucus is a foretaste of the future!

It's been a long time since I've been excited about a political race. The first time since Senator Paul Wellstone -- the first and only political candidate to whom I've given money -- died in a plane crash a few days before the 2002 election. I'm not superstitious about backing another political candidate but I am, in the words of Rhodes Scholar Michael Scott, "I am a little stitious."

Kids in the box

Lots of lovely items presented on Christmas. What was the favorite? A soccer ball bean bag box. My oldest niece and nephew had hours and hours of fun with this fort.

Are you paying attention?

Thanks to Pig Sty Ave -- a site where you can invert your words. You may ask, how is that helpful? Well, the next time you have to write a long paper or report, you can sneak in a few of these to see if people actually read it. ¡sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ ʇ,uɐɔ noʎ

Or you could do it just to mess people up.

˙ɹǝʞɔɐls 'ʇı ʇɐ ʞɔɐq ʇǝƃ llǝʍ ¿ʞɹoʍ ʇɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ

Winter

I thought this looked kind of moonscapey.

Web treats

If you are entranced by the Web, you will enjoy Rule the Web, How to Do Anything and Everything on the Internet -- Better, Faster, Earlier. It's not a Web for Dummies type of book. It assumes you know how to navigate the Web. The author is Mark Frauenfelder, founder of Boing Boing, an interesting blog full of oddities.

The book contains tips and recommendations on what you can do, and where, on the Web and on your PC. A few examples:

• Audiobooksforfree.com, free audiobooks
• BookMooch.com, an online community book exchange
• Ratemds.com, a rating site for doctors
• Zillow.com, real estate information including how much your house might be worth
• Tips on how to avoid drowning in e-mail (p. 283-6)

Alas, I don't think the book will help me with the milk I spilled on my keyboard this morning.

Trouble with the mail

This bit of mail was returned to me. If you look closely, there is a small chunk of the original envelope inside a larger envelope. (I whited out the address.)

At the top is "Return for better address." Does that mean that if I put a complete address and new stamp on it this would go through the mail?

Fun with words and phrases

I love words. And witty phrases. Here are a few recent favorites.

Via the The New Yorker

• fed-upness
  
• ginned up (as in "You must be ginned up to think that there's no such thing as global warming.")
  

From "The Eyre Affair"

• fatuousness
• "mad as pants" (crazy, nuts -- not in a good way)
  

Forwarded to me by EclectChick:

• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

From an interview on NPR. The interviewee was referring to the presidential candidate ads running in Iowa (the Iowa caucuses are the first in the choosing-a-presidential-candidate sweepstakes).

[The presidential campaign ads are] Content free and information challenged.

And we have 11 more months of this. God help us.

Christmas displays without the annoying crowds

Want to see the cool Christmas displays in shop windows but don't want to fight the crowds? Or, if you're short like me, don't fancy looking at the backs of tall peop0le who insist on standing in front? You are in luck.

Check out 10 New York displays on BuzzFeed. Not quite the same as being there but you can stay in your cozy, warm slippers and make your cocoa just the way you like it.

Is it a sport?

It's not really a sport unless there's the possibility of dislodging your intestine.

Stephen Colbert* in I Am America and So Can You! (I so love the title of this book.) Also from the book:

If you think temporary tattoos are OK, maybe I can interest you in some temporary eternal damnation.

I mean no disrespect to the listeners who have not had children. There's no shame in being a genetic dead end.

I am not the sharpest knife in the spoon.

Click here for Stephen's "On Notice/Dead to Me" list.

*Stephen Colbert/The Colbert Report has a faux news show on Comedy Central. He acts like a self-involved, right-wing news host (a la Bill O'Reilly from Fox News) but it's all a joke. In an interview, Colbert describes his Colbert Report character as a "well intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot."

Christmas gift ideas

BrandFlakesForBreakfast has a great list of gift ideas like a pet nest bed, wooden USB memory sticks, drippy pillows, political chew toys for dogs* and loads of other cool stuff. The site is also a super way to waste time at work.

*Includes Bush, Kim Jong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I'd like to get all three. I'd make them all make nice nice. Then I'd let Sophie at them. As is her wont, she'd shake them violently as if to break their necks.

Thanksgiving and family

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's when my Mom's side of the family gathers for a day of fun. This year there were 23 of us.

My cousin Joni always bring Lefse and by quite early in the day it is all gone. It's really fun to see the little kids chomping away on a little roll-up filled with sugar and butter, moving the Norwegian treat to the next generation.

Every year the kids play with these wood strips. This year they used them to make paths through the living room. They also like to stack them in towers and knock them down. They usually do this in the linoleum-floored laundry room. With no carpet cushion, the tumbling wood strips are very, very loud.

My brothers and I used to play with them at our Grandparents' house. I can't remember where my Grandpa got them. They are varnish and stain samples from years and years ago. In a day of video games and DVDs, it's so fun to see the kids drag out the retro toys.

Sophie gets a chance to meet and greet everyone, lick the little kids in the mouth and clean up spills. She loves the day but the Friday after she seems like she has a hangover.

The day always goes way too fast. One minute you're hugging and greeting everyone. The next it's dark and everyone is going home.

Thanksgiving

Philosophy and Mutts. Lovely!

Nice way to start the day

I overslept this morning. I was having a weird dream. It was about renovations and redecorating at my allergist's office. (The new waiting room was quite lovely.) Not quite worth the mad dash to get ready for work.

Funny Grandma

My Grammy lived until 98. Up until the last couple of years she was quite the spitfire. She had all sorts of goofy sayings like:

• Are you having a spell? (If we were acting really silly.)
• Did you fall in? (If she thought someone was spending too long in the bathroom.)
• We have to get there [a restaurant] before the nasty church people. (This was uttered on Sundays when we planned to go to lunch. She wanted to beat the church rush. However, she was dedicated to her church and faith which makes it doubly funny.)
• How are [his/her] people? (She would ask this if you told her about a new friend, platonic or romantic. She wanted to know what the person's family is like.)
  

New term

I don't like the term "brain fart." I like what it stands for -- not being able to remember or think of something, losing your train of thought mid sentence, etc. It happens to me. A lot.

I heard another, more refined, expression that means the same thing: brain fluff. It's more descriptive for me. I think of that airy batting that comes in stuffed toys and quilted items. That's how my brain feels on many days.

What now?

I found an old notebook. I used to keep it in my purse to write down shopping lists, book recommendations, ideas, etc. There was only one page with writing on it. Here's what it said:

Father and mother separated to different sons' houses -- then they find their long lost adopted son at a car dealership by the train station.

Huh?

Enough madness already!

Great words from the prophetic Rabbi Michael Lerner:

The central message of both Chanukah and Christmas is the affirmation of hope for a renewal of goodness in the midst of a world that is increasingly dark and fearful. For the ancients, that was expressed through holidays of light—burning the yule log or lighting candles as a sign that even while the days had grown shorter and the sun seemed to be less available, we believed that it would return. Chanukah taught the world that a small group of people (the Maccabbees) could fight the overwhelming power of the Hellenistic empire, and triumph. Christmas brought the message that a little child, always a symbol of hope, could bring love and kindness to the world, with tidings of peace and generosity.

This year, we need to get back to those messages of hope. In a world in which our Senate has just signaled, through the confirmation of an attorney general who couldn't muster the courage to acknowledge that waterboarding is torture, that the Bush Administration need not respect international law, and in which our Congress keeps spending hundreds of billions of dollars to fund a war that the vast majority oppose, and in which our presidential candidates are unable to commit to bringing all the troops and advisors out of Iraq before 2013, there is a desparate need for ordinary citizens to experience of hope for a world of peace, generosity, and ecological sanity.

Read the full text here.

Your site has a few problems

I received a mailing today from Keller Graduate School of Management. Normally I throw these things away. Today I felt like taking a look. I typed in the URL but could not find anything but minimal information on the various degrees. There are small descriptions but you can't click through there or anywhere else for more detail on degrees, tuition, etc. But you can fill out a form for more information on their MBA. What if you're not interested in an MBA but something else? Why should I have to give you my information in order to get information from you?

Aaargh. End of today's rant.

Bumper sticker fun

I saw this bumper sticker today. I usually refer to Wal-Mart as The Devil's Little Sweatshop.

This and more at StampAndShout. Stocking stuffers!

This is meant for kids?

Krista, a friend from work, received this birthday present, as a joke, from her husband. A faux Barbie Happy Hour Play set. It's meant for kids.

Well that's a good idea!

This caught my attention on the Idea Sandbox blog:

Look beyond immediate conclusions. Break it down - the problem, your customers, a project - into smaller chunks and examine alternate solutions. It may sound completely different than you expected.

I have some breaking down to do.

Word of the day: vapid

Vapid -- it can be mean to say and it just sounds good.

According to dictionary.com:

1. lacking or having lost life, sharpness or flavor
2. without liveliness or spirit

In German the word can be fad or fade (fa-da), words which can said just as patronizingly.

I am Midnight?

I stole this idea from Julia's blog. This explanation is about 40 percent true. Unusual habits? Experiment with lifestyle? Huh?

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits. Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle. Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it. You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

New baby!

This is my new nephew, Cohen. I was there for his birth last week. It was amazing. He is the sweetest little baby in the world!

Wake up annoyances

Waking up to an alarm stinks. It's alarming and annoying. But here are three other noises that, to me, are worse.

• Car alarm
• Hair dryer
• The dog throwing up
  

Excel is afraid of Roger Waters

I was attempting to help a colleague with formulas in Excel. It wasn't working so I went back to my desk to mess around with the file. Before I opened the file, I turned on my iPod and chose Pink Floyd. Presto! The formulas worked!

A must-have shirt

I saw this on the Mental Floss site. It made me laugh out loud. If you don't know Lady Macbeth, check her out on Wikipedia.

Mental Floss is the best magazine ever. How could you not love a magazine that has this subtitle: Feel smart again.

How well do you know your side affects?

Mental Floss has a great new quiz: Popular Drugs, Ominous Labels. In the U.S. there are many, many pharmaceutical ads on TV and print. The ads on TV are particularly funny since they have to read out the possible side affects. They are often horrifying.

Take the Mental Floss quiz and see how well you know your drug side affects.

Sophie and the toads

Sophie got her first taste of toad over the weekend. There are many in the garden around my parents' house. Sophie stuck her face in this particular plant (nice and brown from the frost). When she pulled her head out, she was licking her lips like she'd just tasted something awful. Even so, every time we were by that plant she'd go in for a check. Maybe she thought that only some of them taste terrible.

Swag!

I was at the MIMA Summit (Minnesota Interactive Marketing Association) earlier this week. It's one of those events that, when you leave, it feels as if your skull was forced open. In a good way.

One of the great things about marketing conferences, besides the great info you glean, is that you usually get some pretty cool swag. At the MIMA Summit attendees received a swag bag full of the cool and useful items at right.

The conference was packed with design, Web, tech and marketing geeks. The presentations were all about how the Web is changing how we live and what that means to marketers -- how to use the Web and e-mail in new, cool and effective ways. The morning keynote was by a guy from the Pew Internet & American Life Project. He talked about trends in Web use and provided lots of stats (I love stats!) about Internet use, type of use, etc., by various segments of the population.

One of the presenters, from Schematic, had the most brain-busting presentation. He talked primarily about how we'll be navigating the Web in the future. Take a look at the Schematic site and you'll see what I mean. The first part of the presentation was so out there I felt disoriented. (Like I was walking in eight-inch heels through deep mud on a listing ship.) After I got acclimated I was fascinated.

I work at a school that is part of a larger church. MIMA gatherings are full of people who do things we could only dream of. But that's the beauty of it. The ideas open up my mind and push me to keep learning and growing. And it's just plain cool.

Mean about cats

My brother Mike has a t-shirt with "Cats, the other white meat" printed on it. I wanted to take a picture of it but he wouldn't let me. He was in a very foul mood.

This is exceedingly mean but I'm still working off a bad cat experience. A college roommate had an evil Siamese cat. He would jump up and bite people in that fleshy area between the nostrils until you pried him off.

The shirt at right is for sale at CafePress.

Goodbye stress, hello happy place

I love popping bubble wrap. At a summer job in college we used to roll over the bubbles with our office chairs. It was the most fantastic sound.

Bubble wrap makes a nice stress reliever and allows me to regress the days before responsibilities -- a career, a mortgage, etc. I don't get many things in bubble wrap any more. Schade! (bummer)

I was so excited to see this on Boing Boing! Although you can't roll over the Puchi Puchi Electronic Popping Bubble Wrap Toy with a chair, you still get that lovely sound. You can go to your happy place for just $7.20 (5.12 Euro). Available in five colors.

Valkyrie

The movie Valkyrie is due for release in 2008. It's about the July 20, 1944 plot to assassinate Hitler. The main character is Claus von Stauffenberg, one of the leading players in the plot. (The plot also included Dietrich Bonhoeffer*.) Who gets to play the martyred Von Stauffenberg? That chump Tom Cruise. Yes, you read that correctly. How is one to take the movie seriously with him in the lead?

This reminds me of a story I heard in my theology of Bonhoeffer class. Dr. Burtness , a Bonhoeffer scholar, told us that David Soul, yes that one from Starsky & Hutch, wanted to make a movie about Bonhoeffer. And who did he want to play Bonhoeffer? Himself. Oh good lord.

*Bonhoeffer was already in prison in July 1944. After the failed plot the Nazis discovered his involvement. He ended up at Flossenbuerg where he was executed, by Hitler’s specific order, on April 9, 1945. It was just three weeks before Flossenbuerg was liberated. His brother and two brothers-in-law were also executed for their parts in the conspiracy.

Oh, I thought you were....

Sophzilla and I walk in the morning and the evening. We see many people and their dogs. The other day, one of the regular walkers (a human) was wearing black sweatpants and a black, hooded sweatshirt. The hood was up and his face was partially covered. (It was quite chilly that morning.) He looked like a death eater. Good thing the school bus had already passed. There might have been screaming.

Poo Poo on Monday -- Arrested Development

Kelsey, one of my work colleagues, shared this with me. I've only seen snips of Arrested Development. It's completely mental.

In this scene the baldish guy, Tobias, who thinks he's an actor, is auditioning for a store's fire sale commercial.

Death at a Funeral

"Death at a Funeral" is one of the best movies I've seen in ages. It's hysterical. The action takes place over one day at the home of the deceased. One thing after another goes wrong, usually embarrassingly so. I laughed so hard I was almost in pain.

It's one of those movies where you see the character rather than the actor ("Hey, that's Hugh Grant.") Even so, I recognized two of the actors from two of my favorite films: Pride and Prejudice and A Room with a View. And the actor who plays Simon played Steve the Pirate (so incredibly silly) in Dodgeball.

Here is the trailer. I'm happy to report that all of the good bits aren't in the preview.

State Fair memories

The Minnesota State Fair is on until Labor Day. I drive near it most days on the way to work and all sorts of fun memories pop into my mind.

When I was growing up our family would often go to the Fair. It was incredibly fun. My parents kept tabs on what we were eating so there were no throw-up incidents at, or on the way home from, the fair. They also, usually successfully, steered us clear of buying the various crap and oddities for sale in the Grandstand. And every year my Mom would make us go back to the car at lunch time. She brought sandwiches, fruit, that type of thing. I can still hear her say, "You kids have to eat something besides junk today."

I had one of my most embarrassing clothing faux paux at the Fair. Around Labor Day dressing can be a quandary if you're going to be gone all day. Shorts or long pants? Long sleeves or short? Just because it's cool in the morning doesn't mean that it won't get hot later. In this particular year we were in long pants and long sleeves. At the last minute my Mom grabbed a t-shirt for each of us, just in case it got too hot for sweatshirts. It did. In the rush my Mom didn't consider what we were wearing when choosing the shirts. I was wearing plaid pants -- red, navy, orange and other warm, fall colors. The t-shirt she grabbed for me had horizontal stripes in primary colors. It was awful. I didn't blame my Mom -- well maybe I did a little -- but I can still remember how horrified I was to be in that outfit.

Phrase of the week

Heard this term in a Fresh Air interview with Bill Flanagan, a MTV networks executive and author. Low-impact Monday. As in, I want a low-impact Monday (no meetings, hassles, etc.). I love it. The interview is great.

Bill Flanagan, Fondly Biting the TV-Network Hand

Novelist Bill Flanagan wrote the comedy A&R about the smooth operators and the scatty artists who make the music business so entertaining; now he's lampooning the cable-TV industry in his novel New Bedlam. The source for his send-ups? His career as an MTV networks exec.

Poo Poo on Monday -- Colbert

Part 2 -- the funnier part -- of Stephen Colbert's 2006 speech at the White House Correspondent's Dinner. (Stephen Colbert is the host of the Colbert Report on Comedy Central.) He blasts Bush, the administration and the press in a really sneaky, snarky way.

The Unforgettable Fire

Lately I've been listening to U2's Best of 1980-90. "The Unforgettable Fire," is one of my all-time favorites, particularly this line, "Come on take me away, come on take me home, come on take me home, home again."

Each time I hear it I remember riding the Rapide through the dark London streets. After six months in northern England we were on the way to Gatwick and back to the States. To say that I didn't want to go back, that England had become my home, is an understatement. I listened to this song over and over and over. Throughout the next academic year I had a terrible case of reverse culture shock.

The actual video can't be embedded but you can see it here. This video is a compilation of U2 images.

Stupid!

I read this story in yesterday's newspaper. A guy in Kentucky tried to rob a liquor store but was caught. He tried to disguise himself by wrapping his head in duct tape. (Full story.) I shudder thinking how much skin and hair the duct tape took with it upon removal.

Will it blend?

A colleague turned me on to this site: Will It Blend? There are "try this at home" and "don't try this at home" videos. It's a beautiful thing. In the below, the host, delightfully cheesy, blends an iPhone.



This is marketing genius. Blendtec actually sells blenders.

Poo Poo on Monday -- Ralphie

Oh Ralphie, you are so dim. Below, the best of Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons.

Productivity tip from Jerry Seinfeld

Productivity tip from Jerry Seinfeld? Who knew? The Seinfeldian Chain is a motivational way to track your progress toward any goal. I love it.

...He [Seinfeld] told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker.

He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day. "After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain."

"Don't break the chain." He said again for emphasis... (more)

Create your own chain to track your progress toward a goal at SmarterFitter.

Redneck Games

This one speaks for itself.

From the Boston Herald:

Texas ’Redneck Games’ draw several thousand

DALLAS - More than a few athletes have been accused of doping over the years - but the competitors at the "Texas Redneck Games" might just be dopes.

These competitors forgo the shotput for the "Mattress Chuck" in which two-man teams heave a mattress from the back of a pickup truck as far as they can. And if you aren’t planning on heading to Beijing for the next Olympic Games, there’s always the ugly "butt-crack contest."

By the time the latest Redneck Games ended Sunday, more than 54 arrests and citations had been issued on charges ranging from public intoxication to speeding, according to the Henderson County Sheriff’s Department. Officials are considering charges against the organizer and landowners where the event was held.

"I’m an old fuddy duddy and all that, but you got a vehicle, you got alcohol, and you got illegal dumping, and you’re making a contest out of that?" said Lt. Pat McWilliams, sheriff’s spokesman. "We are very fortunate that we didn’t have a fatality." More.

Thanks to Kelsey for the tip!

Poo Poo on Monday -- 11

Spinal Tap skewers bands who are full of themselves yet amazingly stupid. This clip features Nigel Tufnel.

Fall?

It's a cloudy but glorious day. It's only 66F (19C). It's been a hot and humid summer and today is a lovely change. I almost put socks on.

This word of the day comes from Wordsmith: haboob (huh-BOOB), noun. A violent dust storm or sandstorm, especially in Sudan. [From Arabic habub (strong wind).]

If my Mom would have known that word when we were growing up she would have used it to describe our bedrooms. 'It looks like a haboob's been through here.' She often described our rooms as federal disaster areas.

Summer

I love kind of tomatoes you get out of garden or from the farmers' market. I'm trying this year to get grape tomatoes to grow on my deck. There might not be enough light but I'm trying it anyway. I was so excited to see these little beauties!

I planted quite a few flowers on the deck this year. Once the sun has gone around the house, toward late afternoon, it's quite lovely and shady, even on the hottest days. (And man, we've had tons of those this summer.)

Sophie has a grand time on the deck sniffing the flowers and, when I'm not watching, eating the dirt.

Poo Poo on Monday -- Rico and Kip

Uncle Rico and Kip sharing a strange conversation. These guys have girlfriends? From Napoleon Dynamite.

Words and phrases

David Sedaris is one of the funniest people alive. Here's some of his wit (see here for previous post). From Me Talk Pretty One Day.

• Hokey claptrap
• Saucebox -- that is, his French teacher's mouth as in "I didn't know what would next come out of her saucebox." She is mean and unpredictable, often berating students.

Here he reads one of his funniest essays -- on the Stadium Pal.

How much is your body worth?

If you leave your body to science, wouldn't you want your family to get some cash for it? Take this quiz, 20 easy questions, and find out how much you, well not you actually, could get for your body. I don't know if you can hold anyone to these numbers.

$0The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Thanks to Pig Sty Ave. for the info.

PooPooing the Monday Blues -- Yanking Andy's Chain

There's nothing like yanking the chain of someone with anger issues. If you're not in striking distance that is. Andy loses his phone and his mind in this clip from The Office. (Andy is a real sycophant, a slap-you-on-the-back kind of guy with an ego the size of the former Soviet Union.)

Exit strategy

'Exit strategy' and Iraq were all over the news today. That reminded me of work incident. Each year our department goes off for a day and half to plan for the coming year. It's very productive and as a treat, we mix in a bit of fun.

A few years back, a not-to-be-named co-worker was in charge of planning the 'fun' part of the retreat. It was horrible, uncomfortable and included costumes. We felt like hostages.

The activity was meant to 'bond' our team. It did do that but with an unexpected twist. We all bonded around how much we hated it.

Another co-worker had gin hidden away in a corner. (Our retreat was on the campus of an undergraduate, and therefore dry, campus.) She'd approach people quietly and ask, "Do you want a drink?" The universal, glee-filled response was, "You have liquor?" If we had to sit through this we might as well have a gin and tonic in hand. Part way into the awfulness my boss leaned over to me and said, "Is there an exit strategy for this?"

Poo Poo on Monday -- Dwight the fascist

For your Monday enjoyment, a clip from The Office. In the show, Jim and Pam -- the two scheming in the clip -- are constantly devising ways to torment Dwight. When he's not sucking up to Michael, the boss, Dwight is subjecting his co-workers to his fascistic tendencies and over-inflated sense of self (he has a bobble head of himself on his desk).

Working your gray matter

I'm reading Eat, Pray, Love. It's an OK book. I waver between loving it and finding the main character (the author) highly annoying. I did, however, gather a very good tip from the book which I am putting to use.

For the last few days I have been reading a small news story in German. The first was a story from Der Spiegel about the new Simpsons movie. I love the show but I don't know about the movie so it wasn't quite cheating. It was a fun interview with the creators, Al Jean and Matt Groening. I even laughed out loud a few times!

Today I'm reading a story from Deutsche Welle about people who are learning German at the Goethe Institute in India.

Practicing your language skills is amazingly entertaining and the pay off is three fold: you work your brain, improve your language skills and learn something interesting. (I will not be reading any finance or economic stories. That stuff freaks me out in English.)

On a side note, you may, as in all news reading, learn things you do not want to know. I just read in Der Spiegel that Tom Cruise will play Claus von Stauffenberg in an upcoming movie, Valkyrie. Shudder. (Stauffenberg was a crucial player in the July 20, 1944 plot to assassinate Hitler.)

Die Hitze! (the heat!)

A very poignant word on my word-a-day German flip-a-day calendar: unertraeglich (unbearable). Die Hitze is unertraeglich! (The heat is unbearable.)

Genau! (Yes!) It's been like Tulsa here. That is, hot and humid. It's been in the 90s (32C+), again.

I carpooled with Sally on Friday. When she dropped me off at my car I knew it would be hot. I'd left a sun shade on the dash. I was hoping that it would make the steering wheel touchable.

I opened up the car door and the heat that rolled out was like a blast furnace. Luckily, I had a canvas tote bag in the car. I used it like an oven mitt to drive. Maybe I'll start keeping an oven mitt in the car. Just in case. Hang it from the rear-view mirror.

Philosophical question and cool trend stuff

Trend Hunter serves up cool, funny stuff that makes you feel, 'I'm either really normal or really abnormal for not understanding the allure of this stuff.'

Will people buy the solid gold dress ($250,000, 183,000 Euro), the USB Butt Cooler (4,800 yen, $39, 29 Euro) or the Swiss Glamour Camping Kit ($299, 219 Euro)? Do these things demonstrate the ultimate in consumerism? Is all this stuff just a substitute for 'self actualization' (Maslow's hierarchy of needs)?

Is worth in the eye of the beholder? Or in the eye of the person observing the beholder?

There was a great story in the New Zealand Herald about need vs. want. (I found the link through Google. I don't suffer that much from screen suck.) But for me, it's not just a financial question. This lens on Squidoo is an interesting exploration into Huxley's Brave New World.

I can't throw too many stones. Do I really need my iPod, all the books on my shelves or the special treats I feed Sophie? No. But do I want them, yes.

If found these suggestions. I don't know about all of them but it's a place to start.
Ask yourself:
1. Can I live without it?
2. Will the world stop going around if I do not have it?
3. Will it make a big difference in my life if I do have it?
4. Will my life end if I go without this item?
5. Can I find it elsewhere for less money?
6. Can I find it on sale or clearance or used?

Guess I won't be purchasing the butt cooler.

Who's your baby mama?

Mo Rocca's blog poses this video question today: Who is your fantasy baby mama? How about you? Who's is your fantasy baby mama or daddy? Rule -- you commit to the pregnancy and the first two years of the child's life.

A surprise for Indepence Day

From the Borowitz Report. Andy Borowitz is fiendishly clever. His bogus news stories are like a release valve, letting off a bit of the stress from the latest annoying or aggravating news from the current administration. Today's story:

Cheney Declares Himself National Monument
Latest Attempt to Dodge Subpoena

In a bold new strategy to avoid a congressional subpoena, Vice President Dick Cheney today declared himself a national monument.

Mr. Cheney took the unorthodox step only after failing in his attempt to invoke a little-known legal principle called the separation of Cheney and state.

Aides to Mr. Cheney confirmed that being a national monument gives the vice president not only immunity from subpoenas, but also a draft deferment in perpetuity.

President George W. Bush presided over a solemn White House ceremony this morning in which a plaque documenting Mr. Cheney’s status as a national monument was affixed to the vice president’s midsection...

Subscribe to his daily e-letter. You'll thank me.

Poo Poo on Monday -- Bad Baby

Good cop, bad cop in a most surprising manner. Best viewed with headphones if you're at work.