Would you trust this person?

Every time we have a family gig my camera is taken over by one or both of my brothers. During Christmas, everyone had a photo of a toilet on their camera. After Cale's party, I had a number of lovely "portraits" of both brothers.

Pudding

Here's the lovely pudding we enjoyed this past summer in Switzerland. I brought some home and now there's just one packet left. Aack!

It's instant! If you buy instant putting here it's horrid. It doesn't taste like chocolate and has a werid aftertaste. Not this stuff. The soup and spaghetti mix (powdered) we bought were similar. Great flavor. And here, I wouldn't buy the stuff. Ick and full of salt. Don't get me started on Fanta mango. Non-diet soda that doesn't taste like syrup. Sniff. When can I go back?

New light fixtures!

Look at my lovely new light fixtures! So much better than the previous, low-light, incredibly dated fixtures. My Dad installed both of them. When I bought them I bought the highest watt bulbs they would take. I was used to a dark kitchen and that wasn't going to happen again. After Dad put up the ceiling fixture he called me in to take a look. I turned on the switch and yelled, "Holy crap! It's like looking at an eclipse."

The South will rise again

I'm reading Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I'm going to Savannah, where the book is based, so I thought I'd finally read it. I'm enjoying the book. The characters are so interesting and odd. (Cool site about Savannah and the book here.)

My friend Jeannie worked in Virginia for awhile. She made the mistake of saying something about the civil war being over to an older southern gentleman. She got quite an earful about how the war isn't really over, northern atrocities, etc. It was over a hundred years ago. I don't get it.

In books, fiction and nonfiction, southerners are portrayed as so different, independent, devil-may-care (that, or hillbillies). Granted, not everyone knows a drag queen named Chablis. But there's this whole southern mystique/intrigue. I get to wondering whether the mystique it's mostly true, partly true or only based on a select few. It doesn't keep me up nights but I do wonder.

Family fiesta

The kids were off school today so we converged on my parents' to make noise and celebrate Cale's birthday. Sophie and Bill were up to the old tricks, "dog fight!", and scaring the kids. They jockeyed for position under the kids' dining table.

JoJo dished out the birthday cake and due to the wailing and crying, gave everyone supplemental pieces of cake.









I usually run across weird signs on my trips to Alex. On this particular sign, I'd guess that they probably mean, "committed to our customers." However, given the open invitation to fill in the blank, I choose to think they've all been sent away to the psych ward.

Quite the invitation, this one.

This makes me cringe.

Stupid juice

I bought this juice the other day. I saw "less sugar" and thought, "well that's a good idea." As long as orange juice has pulp and isn't from concentrate I'm pretty happy. This stuff tasted a bit odd so I read the ingredients. There is sucralose (i.e., Splenda) in it. For the love of Pete! Why do you need artificial sugar in orange juice? And chemicals are always a nice way to start the day. OK, end of rant.

Sorry about the comments

I was getting visually bored so I updated Sophzilla's background. Unfortunately, the update took some of the comments with it. So very sorry! Where do things go when they disappear on the Web?

Where's Not Martha?

I had a bit of a panic this evening. I couldn't find one of my favorite blogs, Not Martha. There are Google listings but I keep getting "site not found." Oh bother! I did find a Not Martha site on Flickr. I wonder if this usurped the past site? There are many photos of weird and wonderful things, including pasta that looks like communion wafers. I wonder if they stick to the roof of your mouth?

What a nice closet you have!

Look at this beau-ti-ful closet! I should have taken a before picture. It was nothing like this! For a long time my office closet had been a tidy area. Then something happened. I got busy and suddenly, I became a messy person. I needed a bit of help to get this spot back in order -- I couldn't find things and that normally doesn't happen to me. It is, for me, a very bad sign.

Jude to the rescue! She came over today and helped me organize the closet. She is ruthless about organization and purging. And she loves to do this type of thing, especially if you give her carte blanche. It's quite cathartic to throw, recycle and donate things that I no longer use. Look at it now! There are now two empty shelves! It's fun to just look at this tidy space.

Speaking of closets, when I was in Germany I took over Gudrun's room (my youngest homestay sister). She temporarily shared a room and a closet with Almut (my oldest homestay sister). I had a closet to myself and it was not very full, seeing as I had to schlep everything I wore across the Atlantic. One day I was talking to Almut and I meant to offer her space in my closet since it wasn't very full. The German word for closet is Schrank. But in stead of saying Schrank, for whatever reason, I said Kuehlschrank. Instead of saying, "you can use space in my closet," I said, "you can use space in my refrigerator." Ah, the unintentional joys of speaking a foreign language.

Dogs in coats

Sophie and I had a lovely walk with Marjie and Hobbs this afternoon! Hobbs makes Sophie look so tiny. Sophie's been cooped up this winter and was all wiggy with all the new smells. Como Lake is such a nice walk. And since it was late afternoon, we didn't have to dodge too many strollers and small children.

As you can see, I don't quite have the hang of taking pictures with my little spycam yet. (Sorry about cutting off your head, Hobbs. And this is the best photo of the lot.)

It felt like winter again today. I needed a hat to keep my ears warm. (And Sophie needed her sweater.) I not a big fan of winter but the past weeks of warm weather were just not right. Kind of like this summer in Switzerland. If you're above the tree line, shouldn't you be a touch chilly in shorts and a t-shirt? Yet another reason to hug a tree, carpool, recycle and avoid excess packaging. I hope this summer isn't like last. My motto was, "If I wanted Tulsa weather, I would move there." As usual, no one listened to me.

Animal academy

Jan. 13 - A German "animal academy" has specialised in teaching cats and dogs how to play the piano and chickens how to perform on a xylophone. (Reuters)

Story and video here. They actually play nicer than my nieces and nephew, who incorporate more pounding and volume into their performances.

Also from Reuters, bun that looked like Mother Theresa was stolen from a bakery in Tennessee. Story and video here. God bless Reuters.

We're all just quelling with pride. There's a guy in Minnesota who wants to be governnor. And, he's a vampire -- Jonathan "the Impaler" Sharkey. Good luck with that.

Was ist heute auf der Fahrbahn? It’s been a slow month. Cars and vans mostly. No people or dogs lately.

Self helpless

A lot of self help resources make me gag. I'm not completely stupid and don't require constant affirmations. But one I've found that Cheryl Richardson's books and site are quite good. Finding a good self help resource is a bit like finding a good aerobics instructor. You want perky and energetic but not too perky and energetic. Not unless anger happens to motivate you.

I discovered Richardson's book, Take Time for Your Life, late last year. I occasionally need a kick in the pants -- what's really important and what am I doing about it? You'd think I'd have that down by now. Considering the sales of her books, I apparently am not the only slow learner.

Smell and memory

This morning when I was getting ready I realized that I no longer smell my new perfume when I put it on, go in a closet, put on a jacket. I guess I’m used to it so my nose ignores it. (Coco by Chanel) Reminds me of other smells I like and that pull in memories. Whenever I smell Estee I think of my aunt Kay, whom I miss to this day. I love the smell of burning wood in a fireplace and burning leaves.

When I was studying in Germany a good friend wore Boss (I think that was what it was). During one of our breaks I went to Austria and soon learned that about every other Austrian man wore Boss. Every other person reminded me of someone else, who I happened to miss.

So that’s why your co-worker is so annoying

A recently published study by the University of Buffalo said that seven percent of people drink on the job. So maybe that’s why some people are suddenly insufferable or, on the other hand, the insufferable people freak you out with sudden chumminess. Note to boss – I am not one of the seven percent.

Conspiracy

Tonight I watched a fascinating, horrifying film -- Conspiracy. It's the story of the Wannsee conference in 1942. At Wannsee a group of Nazis, in less than two hours, decided what to do with their "Jewish problem." It's a dramatic interpretation, but is based on the one remaining copy of the meeting transcript (found in 1947).

I can't find words to explain the cold efficiency with which they worked. Here are some scenes from the movie to illustrate:

• Several times, the Jews were referred to as a 'storage problem.'
  
• The morality was not questioned but there were fierce debates about applying the spirit of the Nuremberg laws.
• Representatives from eastern Europe jockeyed for position to have their Jews 'cleared out' before any more were sent east.
• One of the reasons why shooting was ruled out, and the gas chambers embraced, was because it was demoralizing for the soldiers to shoot women and children.

In the movie commentary, Kenneth Branagh said that the role of Reinhard Heydrik was the most disturbing role he's ever played. Heydrik later became infamous as the "butcher of Prague."

To add to the horror, you learn what happened to all of the Wannsee participants. Many were brought before the Nuremberg tribunal but received small sentences or were released because of lack of evidence.

Wikipedia has a good overview about the conference and participants. It also includes a link to the meeting transcript in English.

There is also a German film, Wannseekonferenz. (In German with English subtitles.) Both Wannseekonferenz and Conspiracy are available at many libraries.

A new twist on playing with food

The Gemueseorchester, Vienna, plays music solely on vegetable-based instruments. Really! Go to their site and you can listen to samples. You can also see their play dates. So far, only in Europe and China. Bonus! You get soup made of the vegetables at the end of the show. I find the music odd and rather annoying but at least they're original.

Thanks to Kim for the tip!

Der Weg

Each of the past few days I've heard "Der Weg," Herbert Groenemeyer, on FFH (the German radio station I listen to on the Web). It's a gorgeous but sad song. It was new in 2002 and I haven't heard it for months on this station. All of a sudden it's there every day. (You can see the video/listen to the song here.) Something must be going on with the person who plans the play list at FFH.

Last spring I was taking my nieces to the flower show. As usual, we were listening to German music in the car. When this song came on Tori said it sounded like a sad song. I told her it was and explained the song in English. (It was written after Groenemeyer's wife died.) Many hours later Tori turned to me and said, in hear earnest, six-year-old, voice: "I know what would make that man happy again." I asked her what that might be. She said, matter-of-factly, "He should find a new wife." She'd obviously been thinking about this over the hours. She is one of the sweetest kids in the world! I'm blessed to be her aunt!

Nice sentiment for today

You might have received this in an e-mail. Maybe even more than once (if you're nice :). I received this from my cousin today. Maybe it's because I was supercrab yesterday, or maybe I'm feeling sentimental. In either case, I'd like to send it to the Sophzillasphere.

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Huh?

I was looking for info on the Web as I'm prone to do. Have a question? Check the Web or get a book. And I'm a junkie for anything time management-y. I stumbled across this link: "Personal transformation made easy." I guess there's no end to the lust for quick fixes.

Idioms/Redewendungen

Last week in German class we worked on idioms (Redewendungen). There were only three of us: a guy from Hong Kong, the teacher (from Germany) and me. It was quite interesting. Our teacher knows some English idioms but not a ton, the other student knows Chinese idioms. I tried to help explain what some of them might be, in English, to the other student. It was quite funny. I'm sure I sounded like a hillbilly in my German. Reminds me of David Sedaris' line in Me Talk Pretty One Day. He's living in France and in his broken French asks the butcher, "Is thems the thoughts of cows?" But hey, at least I try!

Today Christopher, the Hs and I went to Moti Mahal for lunch. Mmmmm... chicken masala, nan. Quite lovely! It's on a funny little corner on Franklin Ave. in what was likely an Ember's at one point. I'd highly recommend it!

20+C+M+B+06

Friday was Heilige Drei Koenige, Epiphany. So at home and at work I broke out the chalk and wrote 20+C+M+B+06 over the door. (At work it had to be on the door since I couldn't reach that high.) I learned about this years ago from my German homestay family. It marks the year, as well as the first initials of the three kings who visited the baby Jesus. Also, CMB are the first letters of the phrase Christ bless this house (in latin, that is).

I got to serve communion in chapel on Friday. It was such a very cool experience. There were many people there that day that I know and care about. And over and over I got to say, "this is Christ's blood, shed for you." The time was so joyful and ethereal. It was incredibly powerful.

Lazarus

Lazarus is going to bloom! This is Lazarus, the peace lily in my office. A co-worker found him not long ago, tipped over and mostly dead in a conference room. He brought the plant back to me since I have windows. Lazarus has done quite well and now is going to bloom! Good thing it hasn't been too cold this winter. I fondly refer to the space as the Meat Locker.

So much material, only a 1/2 hour show

Yet another reason to watch The Daily Show. Watch this clip of Jon Stewart on Bush's wire tapping.

"They were going to bring balloons!"

America by Jon Stewart and The Daily Show is hilarious. (But mysteriously, nothing about hobos). With chapter titles like "Congress: Quagmire of Freedom," and "The Rest of the World: International House of Horrors," how could you go wrong. The book has lots of graphics and cool stuff. When you listen to the audio CD you get to hear tone of voice and sound effects. Better off with both.

But we say you're dead

If a bureaucrat thinks your dead, how do you prove that you're not? From Deutsche Welle:

Worried about what had happened to her pension checks, Martha Kruse called up her pension fund. She hadn't received any money in April and May and was starting to have difficulties paying her bills.

But the 82-year-old woman from a small town near Hanover in northern Germany wasn't prepared for the explanation she got.

"Don't get upset, but you died on Jan. 28," an employee at the Bundesknappschaft fund told her, adding that she should send back any checks she had received since then.

Full store here.

So that's what's been missing in my life

I ran across this ad in my Yahoo account. "Put an end to thin lips. Enhances the volume and shine without the stinging..."

"Have you always wanted:

• Lips that look and feel full, plump and moist?
• Lips that hypnotize, mesmerize and make others hang on every word you say?
• Lips as sensual and sexy as the supermodels and Hollywood starlets?"

Well, yes! That is exactly what has been missing in my life! I find this extremely funny to laugh at. But on the other hand, unless you've had some sort of serious lip injury, why, oh, why would you focus on this?

On the other hand, if you could actually hypnotize, it might come in handy.

Is it Spam?

I received an e-mail from sender "Bible." Do you think it's SPAM?

FYI -- Sophzilla had a nice, quiet New Year's watching the director's cut of Napoleon Dynamite. Sweet!

What happens to recalled meat?

I found the coolest book at the library. The Explainers, by the writers at Slate, explains all sorts of things you never thought to ask. With regards to the bad meat, according to the book, it's sent back to the factory and then either chucked, burned or "set aside for rendering into nonhuman protein sources -- i.e. dog and livestock food." I feel so much better now. Other things the book explains:

• What happens to confiscated nail clippers?
• Is there really such a thing as a water landing?
• How often do prisoners escape?
• What if you skip the census?

Uggh, speaking of the census, I just received some forms the other day. It doesn't appear to have a due date but it does clearly state that if you ignore it, you'll end up in the pokey.

How late is it to send Christmas cards?

Again, behind with the Christmas cards. Is it too late now that the year has turned? Or, will people be gladdened by a little holiday cheer? The fun is over and you're looking down the tunnel of a long, dark winter and the next holiday is Jan. 16, if you're lucky.

The photo at left is a icicle on my neighbor's house. Does a homeowner's policy cover death/dismemberment by icicle? It's on the second story so it would get a bit of velocity going by the time it brains you.

St. Martin's Table

Christopher and I had a supremely lovely lunch at St. Martin's Table last week. I don't know that it's possible not to have a lovely lunch there. Everything is homemade and much of it is vegetarian. The bread, oh the bread!

After you eat your yummy soup and or spread on lovely bread, you can browse the great selection of books and art, much of it devoted to themes of spirituality, peace and justice. ("Heaven, I'm in heaven...") They were having a big sale on their icon prints so I bought the Jesus one below, along with one of Martin Luther King, Jr. I find many pictures of Jesus insipid and some are downright creepy. ("Wow, he's whiter than I am. Must have had to use powerful sunblock in the Middle Eastern sun.") I wish they would have had an icon of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He's another favorite. It's his 100th birthday is in February. Be sure to make a German chocolate cake!

Extremely loud and incredibly close

I just finished listening to Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close on CD. I wish the main character, a nine-year-old named Oskar Schell, lived in my neighborhood. He's smarter than his years, but isn't a smart-mouth showoff. He plays the tambourine, is an inventor and spends the book looking for the lock that fits a key he found in his father's closet. (His father died on 9/11.) The flashbacks by the grandparents didn't add too much to the story for me. I wanted to read more about Oskar and his experiences. He's a character you keep thinking about long after the story is done.

The book's author, Jonathan Safran Foer, also wrote Everything Is Illuminated.I'm listening to that now on CD. It's quite intriguing and at the beginning, especially, it is hilarious -- particularly the narrator, a Ukrainian named Alex. There are flashbacks as in Extremely Loud but in this book they are more helpful. The main character, or "the Hero" as Alex refers to him, is in the Ukraine to find the woman who saved his grandfather from the Nazis. The story unfolds slowly and it breaks your heart.

The steps aren't so bad after all

I feel like I'm just surfacing from a long, undersea swim through molasses. I've been mostly sleeping and coughing since Christmas day. This cold could be considered a form of torture. Today I could actually go up and down the steps in my house without having to pause and catch my breath. I was actually motivated to shovel the steps, do some laundry, purge the magazine pile. I'm not doing any sprints but it is nice to stay awake for more than a couple of hours at a shot.

Christmas visuals

Sophie distressed as the remote-control truck heads toward her new toy.

Butter sculpture. (All those carving lessons, finally paying off.)










Sophie and Billy enjoying the spoils. I whipped around, ran into my brother and he dropped a full, kiddie-sized plate, on the floor. My other brother went in for the catch, missed, and was scalded by a flying meatball. (The injury wasn't serious.)



These Christmas lights have been up every year as far back as I can remember. The steering wheel doesn't make the best tripod. Pretend you're not wearing your glasses.


I think the out-of-focusness of this one makes it artistic.

Christmas memories

Four kids, 7 and under, seven adults, three dogs. It sure was loud! My brother's puppy, Bill, is a nut and loves to play with Sophie (the photo at right doesn't quite do it justice). They are quite loud when they play and often sound like they're fighting, even though they aren't. Nothing says Christmas like a dog fight. A couple of the kids would get freaked out when the dogs were playing so I taught them to yell "dog fight" and raise their fists in the air (instead of cowering in a corner). Seemed to do the trick That's what I'll remember from this year, along with my two-year-old niece chasing her three-year-old cousin with a play hair dryer, both of them giggling.

Hobo lore

If you haven't heard the interview with John Hodgman on the Daily Show, please do. It's incredibly silly. And, you get to hear Jon Stewart giggle.

To hear the list of hobo names read aloud, click here. I like Staniel the Spaniel, Giant Batwings Roland, Salty Salty Friday, and Mr. Wilson Fancypants. I wish my name was Mr. Wilson Fancypants.

Hooray for moderate religion!

I love what John Danforth said on Speaking of Faith. I was a little skeptical at first since he's a conservative and let's face it, we've been burned by a few of those lately. However, he also has a moderate faith. Isn't it sad that we now have to qualify faith that way? "I'm a Christian but not one of those mean-spirited, nasty ones." The interview is great.

From one of his op ed's, posted on the Speaking of Faith site:

By contrast, moderate Christians see ourselves, literally, as moderators. Far from claiming to possess God's truth, we claim only to be imperfect seekers of the truth.

We reject the notion that religion should present a series of wedge issues useful at election time for energizing a political base. We believe it is God's work to practice humility, to wear tolerance on our sleeves, to reach out to those with whom we disagree, and to overcome the meanness we see in today's politics.

For us, religion should be inclusive, and it should seek to bridge the differences that separate people. We do not exclude from worship those whose opinions differ from ours.

The faith trotted out by the "Christian right" isn't anything like the Christianity I know. The Christianity I know isn't cruel or mean-spirited. It's the about loving your neighbor and standing up for the opppressed.

The last couple of weeks on Speaking of Faith has been on Einstein and ethics. Very interesting!

Ya, I brought it in for everyone... or, Who's a chump?

Well today I demonstrated my chumpness yet again. I bought this beautiful Celebrate box, full of dips and pretzels -- yum! -- from a co-worker. I planned to send it to a friend for Christmas. I picked up my box this morning. Then I set it down on the counter -- the snack counter -- by the water cooler. I opened up the box and looked at the contents. Then I went to the water cooler and filled up my water bottle. Then totally forgetting the box that I had opened 45 seconds before, I went back to my desk.

A couple of hours later I was down the hall from the snack counter and noticed the box on the counter. "Hey, that's my box," I thought to myself. Several of the items inside were open and obviously being eaten. I walked back there to be sure. Sure enough. I busted a gut at my chumpness.

The people who dove into it felt really bad. I told them it was my own fault for leaving it, open, on the snack counter. And, I said, it would keep me laughing all day. I left it out in my area for co-workers to finish off. Everyone thought I was being so nice. Mmmm... yah... I brought it in for all of us to enjoy!

Here's what it looked like after we'd been at the box for awhile.

Scumbuster

I'm not one to get all excited about household gagdets but I asked for the scumbuster for Christmas. There's something appealing about going after gunk with a cordless, spinning brush. Also, it might be a good personal safety device.

You've heard this sweet story; here it is again

This story came around on e-mail the other day. I thought it was so incredibly sweet. Then I deleted the e-mail by accident. I searched for it online and was delighted to find out, via snopes.com, that it's true!

These twins were only two pounds at birth (1995). One wasn't expected to live. A nurse put them in the same incubator and the stronger twin put her arm over her sister. The sister's heart rate and temperature began to stabilize. To read more, click here.

At www.snopes.com you can check out all the parking-lot safety, latest scam, etc., e-mails.

Top 10 foods

Jude and I had this list going way before there were blogs. However, we called it the "if I go to the chair" list. As in, if I go to the electric chair, these are the foods I would request for my last meal. There are 10 but I didn't number them. Ranking was just too difficult.

• Chicken tikka masala
• Combination plate at Jerusalem's (shawirma, hummus, falafel...)
  
• Strawberries
• Guava juice
• Squash
• Bananas
• Cheese and tomato sandwich on olive basil bread from the deli in Thun
  
• My grandma's rosettes
  
• Red licorice
• Dark chocolate

World Cup language primer

The story below reminds me of reading about the football hooligans in the Guardian during the 1980s -- thanks to an awesome professor, Marjorie Deakin, may she rest in peace.

I keep thinking going to the World Cup, in Germany!, would be the coolest thing in the world. Then I read things like this that remind me of the tertiary goings-on.

"He puked his guts up? Nice...
LEIPZIG, Germany (Reuters) - The British embassy in Germany launched a new website for the 2006 World Cup on Friday that includes handy German phrases for England fans, such as "He was sick as a parrot" or "He puked his guts up."

From Reuters. Click here for the full story. To see the results of the draw, go to the FIFA site. I'm going back to my German-Christmas-song happy place now.

In praise of my bed

I'm not a big fan of poetry but this one resonates, oh so much, with me:

In Praise Of My Bed
At last I can be with you!
The grinding hours
since I left your side!
The labor of being fully human,
working my opposable thumb,
talking, and walking upright.
Now I have unclasped
unzipped, stepped out of.
Husked, soft, a be-er only,
I do nothing, but point
my bare feet into your
clean smoothness
feel your quiet strength
the whole length of my body.
I close my eyes, hear myself
moan, so grateful to be held this way.

by Meredith Holmes from Shubad's Crown (Pond Road Press)

Brain in pieces

Friday -- endlich (finally)! It's been a long week and I feel as if my brain is in itty bitty chunks. Even this morning while I tried to have some devotional time it was one "Where's Pam?" moment after another. "Thank you... question... oh look, that book spine is pretty..." Close eyes. "Musing... I wonder if we're going to Fun Sisters or Sister Fun today?"

On one hand, I really like having a brain that flits about from one thing to another. Today it was just annoying. Reminds me of my five-year-old nephew who suffers from the same malady. His parents would say, "Cale, focus." His reply, "I hate it when you say that."

Fun with German

Have a hankering for a little German Christmas music? Go to Weihnachtsradio and click on the Windows Media or Real Player icon. A few too many songs in English but a good listen nonetheless. If you're really lucky, you'll get to hear an annoying version of "The Little Drummer Boy," "Weihnacht faengt an," by Wolfgang Petry. Or, "Oh du froehliche," sung by Roger Whittaker. (I never said it was all good music.)

Here are some fun things I learned at German class yesterday:

• Man rauft sich die Haare
  tear one's hair out
• Salat statt Kohl
  salad instead of cabbage -- a play-on-words slogan used against Helmut Kohl when he was running for re-election
• Faules Ei
  something to call a lazy person -- literally, lazy egg
• der Stubenhocker
  someone who always stays inside
• der Faulpelz
  another word for a lazy person -- literally, lazy fur
• ausgelaugt
  an adjective meaning completely pooped or stressed out -- comes from the word that refers to the part of the washing machine process when all the water is sucked out of the machine
  
• Du gehst mir auf den Keks!
  you're driving me crazy -- literally, something like "you go me to/at the cookie"
  
• Ich schlage mich etwas aus dem Kopf schlagen
  I drive something from my mind -- "aus dem Kopf" means "ouf of the head" and schlage means "to beat."
  

Jimmy Carter is awesome!

Jimmy Carter was on The Daily Show the other day to promote his new book. What a great person! He's actually done something good since his presidency. His interview is quite charming. Take a look at Jimmy Carter on The Daily Show.

Big trek in a big truck

I drove out to Keeley Island in SW Minnesota for a presentation on marketing. I got there in the dark on Monday. This morning I woke up to a winter wonderland! It's a beautiful place, despite the cold (4 degrees Fahrenheit this a.m.).

Because it was a long drive I rented a car (it's cheaper for the company that way). The rental place screwed up so instead of a small or mid-sized car, I got Dodge Ram 4-door truck. It's ginormous! I'm not used to driving anything that large and it does go against my environmental bent. I'm happy to say that I didn't take out any pedestrians or mailboxes.

It's amazing what creatures of habit we are. In my car there are spots for everything. In this truck I lost so many things over the past day and a half. It didn't help that all my winter accessories are black, as are the seats and floor in the truck. Good thing Sophie has a bit of white on her. I might have lost her in there too!

Finally, a flak vest for Sophzilla!

Sophie stays out of most dangerous areas but it's better to be safe than sorry. A German firm is now making bullet-proof vests for dogs. On the down side, they're about 6.5 pounds (i.e. a little over one-quarter of Sophie's weight). She'd be dragging down the street but she'd be safe from snipers.

Cereal after a White House staffer

For the past few years I haven't been much of a cereal eater. Last week I bought cereal for my parents who were visiting. They are creatures of habit and cereal is their a.m. habit. Now I'm hooked.

I bought the copycat Cheerios by Malt-O-Meal. They're called Scooters. I refer to them as Lewis Libbys. I got one of those looks from my parents when I made the breakfast offer: "Who wants Lewis Libbys?"

Oooh, the snack treats

From this week's Onion. I couldn't resist copying the photo here. See the full story here.

What a toad

California congressman Randy Cunningham has pleaded guilty to bribery and tax evasion -- $2.5 million in bribes from, shocker!, defense contractors.

He was in tears while announcing his resignation, saying that he had lost the trust of his friends and family. My question: Were you asleep when you took the first bribe? Did you start with one commode, and like a bag of M&Ms, one thing led to another and you've bought out half the antique store? (See the list of the glorious prizes he bought with the $2.5M.)

I might feel a bit sorry for him if he had, for example, used the money to pay off a loanshark or buy a kidney for a relative. But as my Mom would say, "He's a real toad."

Kids can be twisted

This story ranks up there with my friend Kathy's, "Honey, we don't do that with cheese."

My friend Christopher was recently at a friend's house. The friend has a six-year-old son. Here is the exchange between son and Mom.

"Mom, my finger smells." "Well don't smell it then." "I can't stop."

Was is heute auf der Fahrbahn? (What is on the highway today?) Ein Hund, beide Richtungen. (A dog, in both directions. Perhaps the dog was running back and forth between lanes?)

More evidence of geekiness

I am obsessed with office supplies, particularly with pens (latest: fountain) and planners. I'm organized and plan my time pretty well. Yet, I'm always on the hunt for more information, a different form, another tip.

I was looking for some info online and ran across the Busy Woman's Planner. This is not for me. I was particularly turned off by the font and color on the pages. Do women really demand italics and gentle colors? Am I just a jerk? Nah, I just prefer my Franklin Planner with the New Yorker cartoons. Although, I'm eyeing up the Time Design system. I could get my calendar and forms in German. Ooo la la (as my sister-in-law likes to say)!

4 miles in 30 minutes!

The first workplace snow/ice of the season. How lovely. It looks like a winter wonderland when you're inside and don't have to go anywhere. If you do, you may suffer from bouts of weather-related boredom and or rage.

Which begs the question, Why do we live here? I'm not sure why my great grandparents happened on Minnesota. They got half way across and thought, "Good enough. I'm tired. Let's stop here."? There aren't any fjords and there aren't even many hills, much less mountains. I like the story about my great grandfather (I think it was) who left Norway to avoid conscription in the army. Rock on, brother!

Fargo. Now that I don't get. I talked to JoJo yesterday and he said they first got ice, then snow and then wind! My poor sister-in-law was out on patrol, too. I hope she just hunkered down in a donut shop all day. This morning I heard that the state patrol would be reopening I-94 between Fergus Falls and Fargo. Good grief!

In some cities people come up to your car and clean the windscreen and then ask for money. If there were cocoa/coffee people delivering hot drinks to your car window this morning, they would have made a killing. It's safe! The cars are going so slow. They're often stopped altogether. Which made it possible for me to originally write this entry, by hand, on the drive to work this morning.

Oooh, just got yelled at by a co-worker for playing a Bing Crosby Christmas CD!

I laugh through my tears at your misbehavior

Jon Stewart (The Daily Show) was talking about Terrell Owens, the Philadelphia Eagles player who was suspended for the rest of the season. Stewart asks (I paraphrase here): when was the last time you could go to work, curse at your boss, say he's not doing a good job, punch out another employee and then say 'I think I'll play tonight.'

Sometimes justice does prevail

It's nice to see that sometimes scoundrels are exposed. From Deutsche Welle:

Pet Parrot Exposes Husband's Philandering
Frank Ficker of Freiburg must have thought he had it all: successful wife, nice home, and a mistress on the side. But the family parrot, a pro at imitating Frank, blew the lid on his cheating ways.

"Hugo always liked to mimic Frank and he could do his voice perfectly," said Petra... But one day Petra heard the bird repeating something she'd never hard before. "I heard him doing Frank's voice, but saying 'Uta, Uta,'" she said. Since Petra didn't know an Uta, nor had she ever heard Frank mention her, her suspicions were raised. A search around the house turned up two plane tickets to Paris, one for Frank, another for Uta, who was, evidently, the other woman... "I kicked him straight out," she said. "It's just me and my parrot now." Divorce proceedings are pending.

Christmas tree, sold as is

Put up Christmas decorations today. The house looks so cozy now. Sophie especially likes the tree. She likes to chew on her toys under the tree and on the tree skirt.

The snow and decorations look so lovely this time of year. And, the sun finally returned. I was about to put away the sharp objects.

Thanksgiving was lovely. Very different than previous years but so nice in its own way. We went to Jax Cafe and had a lovely dinner. No leftovers but on the flips side no fuss, no muss.

Where oh where is the enemies list?

A couple of weeks ago Bill O'Reilly promised to post his list of enemies on his Web site. Where is it? Aaargh! You can't just offer that up and then not provide it. I can't stand the suspense. If you, too, are waiting impatiently, check out Nixon's enemies list while you wait.

While you're on Bill's site check out his Christmas Store (something for everyone on your list!) and his reading list.

For a very good laugh, check out O'Reilly's interview on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart asks why Bill is still so mad at France. "If this were the Peanuts series, France is Marcy."

Speaking of Christmas shopping, make sure this on your list for all the little ones in your life. The Playmobil Security Check Point.

The beautiful city

I am a city person. They can be so beautiful, especially at night. Here are some photos of Chicago from the weekend before last. The moon was incredibly lovely on one particular evening.

Sabado gigante!

Had a brilliant time with Lorelee running around Chicago last weekend. It was one big shop, eat 'n chat. Saw Pride & Prejudice -- the new one. It's fabulous! Pure swoonage. The actors are different than my preferred version (A&E, 6 hours) but were good. I will see it again and again.

Crate and Barrel is the mother ship. So many housewares! So many gadgets you didn't know you needed. Condiment spoons, soy sauce dishes, cherry pitters.

If I ever go to death row, I will request Ann Sather's cinnamon rolls.

Make it plain!

Here's a statement on today's scandalous passage of the House Budget Reconciliation Bill. Italics and bold are mine.

"Woe to you legislators of infamous laws....."

Washington, D.C. ------(Friday, November 18, 2005) Jim Wallis, founder of Sojourners and Convener of Call to Renewal, made the following statement today on the narrow passage of the House Budget Reconciliation Bill.

STATEMENT BY JIM WALLIS:
"The prophet Isaiah said: "Woe to you legislators of infamous laws ... who refuse justice to the unfortunate, who cheat the poor among my people of their rights, who make widows their prey and rob the orphan." Today, I repeat those words. When our legislators put ideology over principle, it is time to sound the trumpets of justice and tell the truth.

It is a moral disgrace to take food from the mouths of hungry children to increase the luxuries of those feasting at a table overflowing with plenty. This is not what America is about, not what the season of Thanksgiving is about, not what loving our neighbor is about, and not what family values are about. There is no moral path our legislators can take to defend a reckless, mean-spirited budget reconciliation bill that diminishes our compassion, as Jesus said, "for the least of these." It is morally unconscionable to hide behind arguments for fiscal responsibility and government efficiency. It is dishonest to stake proud claims to deficit reduction when tax cuts for the wealthy that increase the deficit are the next order of business. It is one more example of an absence of morality in our current political leadership.

Budgets are moral documents that reflect what we care about. Budget and tax bills that increase the deficit put our children's futures in jeopardy - and they hurt the vulnerable right now. The choice to cut supports that help people make it day to day in order to pay for tax cuts for those with plenty goes against everything our religious and moral principles teach us. It says that leaders don't care about people in need. It is a blatant reversal of biblical values - and symbolizes the death of compassionate conservatism.

The faith community is outraged and is drawing a line in the sand against immoral national priorities. It is time to draw that line more forcefully and more visibly.

I applaud those House members who have stood up for better budget priorities and fought hard all year to keep issues of basic fairness at the forefront of this debate. And I thank those on both sides of the aisle who stood up and did the right thing in voting against this bill, despite pressure from the House leadership. These strong voices provide some hope for getting beyond an ideology that disregards the role of government for the common good.

Are you happy, enough?

The story below strikes me as incredibly funny and also sad. Reminds me of a very annoying consultant that I used to work with. When he wasn't busy, which was often, he'd go on a share-my-superness-with-others tour of the office. If he saw you with a normal expression, or God forbid, a frown, he'd say "SMILE!" in a really upbeat and annoying way. Now I'm a happy person. I wanted to say, "I was smiling, on the inside, until you came along." This guy could turn any story to himself. Complaining about your ninth-month-in-pregnancy backache? Well, he sprained his ankle last week running.

When our new boss arrived we started calling him the puppy because of the way he almost danced around the new big cheese. He was so eager to please. "Can I tell you about my great, money-making client and how much they love me?, my athletic training regimen..." It was best if you stayed clear after lunch or any time you had a fully tummy.

From Deutsche Welle:

Some say Germany is a nation of complainers. One company in Leipzig got tired of all the bellyaching and instituted a "no grumbling" policy. Experts say a little less whining could be good for the country.

There are days when Franka Michalski simply wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. It could be she tossed and turned all night, or it might be raining cats and dogs outside. But when she goes to her job as a customer support technician at the IT firm Nutzwerk, she better put on a happy face, or at least keep her dark thoughts to herself. At her job, moaning and groaning can put you in the unemployment line.

The contract she signed when she took the job stipulates that griping on the job is strictly verboten.

Full story here.

Hooray for Iceland, Sweden & Spain!

Nordic states probe 'CIA flights'
Iceland and Sweden are investigating allegations that planes flown by the CIA used their airports during secret transfers of terror suspects.

The Icelandic government says it has asked the US for an explanation and is still awaiting a satisfactory answer.

On Thursday, the Swedish government began an investigation to establish whether CIA prisoner flights had used Swedish airports.

Spain is investigating similar claims about secret flights from Majorca...

The CIA's controversial "extraordinary rendition" programme involves removing suspects without court approval to third party countries for interrogation.

The US state department has refused to comment on specific allegations, or to confirm or deny claims the CIA has set up secret prisons across the globe for the interrogation of "war on terror" prisoners.

Story from BBC NEWS
Published: 2005/11/18 11:22:37 GMT

I hope people in other countries are burning up the e-mail and postal mail to Bush and his cronies. I don't get it. Do they think these people are expendable -- you can torture someone if they're evil. (Um, is there a lab test that reveals this?) I have so much trouble with this adminstration that trumpets Christian values yet instigates and allows this. If that's how Christians behave, why would someone want to be one? The God I believe in, to channel Bono, doesn't believe in torture, man!

Check out Senator John McCain's story in Newsweek: Torture's Terrible Toll.

Abusive interrogation tactics produce bad intel, and undermine the values we hold dear. Why we must, as a nation, do better.The case against torture by John McCain.

Make your voice heard! Ask Dennis Hastert, Who Would Jesus Torture?

One-stop Christmas shopping

Perfect for anyone on your list.

Sweetness and stupidity

Kyra, a seven-week-old lioness, gets a kiss from Norman, a white-tailed deer, at the Hollywild Animal Park in Inman, South Carolina.

And now for something stupid. Would you need to be told that you should throw out glowing meat?

Glowing' meat alarms Aussies
16/11/2005 10:46 - (SA)

Sydney - An Australian food agency sought on Wednesday to quell fears about glow-in-the-dark meats after a man called a Sydney radio station alarmed about his luminous pork chops.

The New South Wales state Food Authority said the phenomenon was caused by a harmless light-emitting bacteria, pseudomonas fluorescens, that is naturally present in most meats and fish.

"While most of us would understandably be shocked to see our food glowing, it is important to remember that the micro-organism responsible for the glow is not known to cause food poisoning," said the authority's director general, George Davey...

While the bacteria is harmless to humans, it spreads quickly on meat that is starting to spoil, said the food agency, which recommends throwing glowing meats in the trash.

Full story here.

Evidence of nerdiness

I take copious notes. Pretty much always. Why?

• It helps me to listen better
• I can read them and learn from them later!
• Helps me not to get bored or fall asleep
• I'm a knowledge geek -- "I must learn and remember all!"

Ever since I returned from Switzerland -- in July! -- if I crave anything, I crave chinese food. (And no, I'm not pregnant.) So, I've been getting a lot of fortunes lately. If I like them, I keep them. Here are two recent favorites.

• You have a reputation for being straightforward and honest.
• Your love life will be happy and fulfilling.

Who's a chump?

That would be me. On Saturday, I took a flight from Minneapolis to Chicago. I've flown gobs of times. I looked at my ticket. A14. Schlepped it down to the gate. It was really like the Siberia gate. When I arrived, nothing was there. It looked like what I think the Fargo airport might look like. I had misread the ticket. A14 was my seat. My gate was on the D concourse. Yes, I embrace my chumpness.

When I arrived at the gate the flight was boarding. A woman behind me was in the midst of a family crisis via telephone. Apparently, someone was really mad because Grandma came over to their new house but didn't go upstairs. "She's 87; she doesn't go upstairs anywhere!"

Thank you, thank you, I didn't sit next to a talker. The person behind me, however, did not have an unexpressed or inspired thought the entire flight. The man beside her had a blank/exasperated expression, "kill me now." When the plane touched down, with a huge thud and shake, she insightfully replied, "No one's sleeping now." As we drove up to the gate, she interestingly said, "I wonder how much those guys [the ground crew] make?"

Happy Armistice Day!

Today in history -- the armistice, 1918. There's a race on to capture the stories of surviving World War I vets. There are just 10 left! I wish I would have asked my Grandpa more about WWI. But, as I was nine when he died, it isn't too surprising that I failed to do so. He was on a submarine. Couldn't do that. Claustrophia. Aack! I'm reading Europe's Last Summer: Who Started the Great War in 1914? I've said it before here but it's a fascinating read as is Keegan's The First World War. Plenty of blame to go around.

Do you travel? Do you use the bathroom? You can research bathrooms or add your own comments at The Bathroom Diaries -- "rates 8000+ public bathrooms in more than 100 countries." I wonder if you can download to your Palm?

Another reason to love Billy Bragg. (But I still don't like his "Between the Wars.") I wish I would have realized how incredibly cool he his (such a good lefty) when I saw him at Milton Keynes in 1985.

A mother fighting breast cancer is this week knocking at the door of the pop chart's top 10. Her surprise hit has been made possible by the personal support of the veteran musical maverick, Billy Bragg. From the BBC.

Would you buy Napoleon's tooth? Someone did, for $19,000. Sounds like the man didn't floss -- "By the time of his death, he was a physical wreck and his gums were soft and bled easily and his teeth were loose." Shiver. Thank you, thank you to my existential dentist! (My teeth are all firmly in place but I do occasionally have that teeth-falling-out dream.)

Was ist heute auf der Fahrbahn? (What's on the highway today?) Ein Brett. (A board.) Yesterday there was a Falschfahrer (someone driving the wrong way).

Not-so-nice co-worker

These have gone round and round e-mail. I picked out my favorites. (I keep the list in my Palm for handy reference.)

Things you'd love to say at work

• I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
• What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
• Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

All about me

Five things I want to do before I die.

• Travel to Turkey
• Travel to the Middle East
  
• Take my nieces and nephew on a big trip
• Speak near-fluent German
• Live in another country for awhile
  

Five things I can do

• Play piano
• Paint
• Laugh a lot (often including snortage)
• Speak German -- poorly but I digress
• Plan

Five things I cannot do

• Snap the fingers on my left hand
• Most math in my head
  
• Whistle
• Enjoy football
• Reach the high cupboards without a stool
  

Five things that would attract me to a potential mate

• Sense of humor
• Intellectual curiosity
• Confidence
• Kindness
• Open-minded spirituality

Five things I say most often

• Lovely!
• Super!
• Oh, for the love of Pete!
  
• Rats! (When something goes wrong.)
• Blah, blah, blah Ginger (usually used to make fun of myself when I've been talking too much)
  

Five celebrity crushes

• Colin Firth
  
• Jeremy Northam
• Ciaran Hinds (Watch "Persuasion" and you'll see what I mean.)
• Herbert Groenemeyer (Listen to "Land Unter," "Marie" and "Der Weg." If you don't develop a crush you must have a heart of stone.)
• Scott Simon (intellect, humor and public radio)

Five things/people that make me laugh

• Sophzilla
• My nieces and nephew
• David Sedaris
• Monty Python
• The Simpsons

I stole this idea from Dash. Thanks Miss Dash!

Weird pet people

A friend's husband works with someone who makes Halloween costumes each year for her cat. On Halloween his co-worker brings the cat in, in its costume. She takes it very seriously. This is extremely funny yet also disturbing.

I heard about DogCatRadio on a German radio station. (Sometimes I'm so proud to live here.) The station plays music that appeals to pets (how do they know?). I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. I listened to four songs. Ish all around. "Send Me an Angel" by the Scorpions followed by "Love Will Keep Us Together" by some chick (no Captain or Tenille), "Celebration," and some song by Rod Stewart. I'll give you whatever you want. Just turn it off.

I'd love to hear the annoying music guy's take on this. He always has such a clever way of bashing things. (You can hear his annoying Halloween music picks, including a goose version of "Honky Tonk Woman," and the stunning, "I'm Gonna Vomit on You" on NPR.

Here's an excerpt from a story on the station:

What's the frequency, Fido? Net station caters to pets
By Dinitia Smith
New York Times News Service
Published November 2, 2005

"Remember, be kind to your mailman," said Jane Harris, a disc jockey. Then she softened her voice until it was a little insinuating: "He only wants to deliver the mail."

It is a message that many of her listeners need to hear. Harris is a DJ on DogCatRadio.com, a new Internet radio station for pets. Now dogs, cats, hamsters and parrots can keep the anxiety, the loneliness, the restlessness at bay while their owners are out. It is radio just for them, live 17 hours a day, 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Central time, and podcast for the rest of the 24 hours.

Those who listen to DogCatRadio will find that there is generally an animal motif to the playlist, like "Hound Dog" ...

And Dionne Warwick is also popular, especially her soothing song "That's What Friends Are For."

Ratcheting it up on the disturbing scale is the "Dogs in the Hood" Christmas CD you can buy on the site. I listened to a sample of "Sleigh Ride" -- a cheesy version of the song interspersed with occasional barks and meows. The "Hot, hot, hot" song is disgusting. What is it doing on a holiday CD?

Timewasters

The Web is full of silly quizzes but who doesn't like to take them? Take the Harry Potter character quiz (suprisingly interesting), find out what kind of animal personality you have. World Book has a bunch of fun quizzes -- womens' suffrage, the civil rights movement, leaders in the Cold War. Woo hoo! Go ahead. Waste a little time.

I'm Albus Dumbledore on the Harry Potter quiz (INFJ -- didn't realize the quiz was based on the Myers Briggs until I finished it; I'm always INFJ!)




Disclaimer: I've never gone dumpster diving and I don't yell at people as they walk by.

No tricks, just treats

I'm reading an excellent book, Europe's Last Summer, by Fromkin. It's about what led up to the beginning of World War 1. It's fascinating. In it the author references The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendahl. It was like being reminded of a sweet treat from way back.

I first ran across The Charterhouse of Parma in high school. It was a "Great Performances" mini series. I was completely transported. I didn't bother asking any of my friends at school if they, too, were delighting in the series. Just like I never came in on a Monday and asked, "Did you see 'Masterpiece Theater' last night?" I'm a nerd from way back. Only when I reached college did I find fellow nerds. People who look at the library as one big candy store.

Candy reminds me of Halloween. Look at these cute monsters I ran into yesterday.
And they made out with quite the stash.