Mouthiness for almost Monday

I'm listening to David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day. I read the book and have already listened to the audio once. (Bonus! David reads the book!) I'm not a re-reader of books so that tells you about the brilliance of the book. It's one of the funniest ever. Examples:

• A concept as uninviting as a shampoo cocktail
• [Remarking on the sorry state of many Americans' attire while traveling in Europe.] Comfort has its place but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if you're there to mow its lawn.

Since it's the equivalent of Monday here (yesterday was Memorial Day, a holiday.) A few more laughs to get you off the ground.

• I'm a great interviewee. I have something else no one has. My brain. Which I use to my advantage when advantageous. (Andy on "The Office.")
• Jumbo Lump Crab Cakes (An appetizer on the menu at Granite City. I understand the concept -- chunks instead of paltry crab shred. But I still don't want to eat anything that has "lump" in the name.)
• Take it to shutty town. (A euphemism for shut up from "King of Queens.")

From the above you'd think I watch a lot of television. Not so. But when I watch a show like "The Office," in which you are always gifted with at least one gut-busting laugh, I write down funny things I hear. Nerdy but it delights me to no end.